Goodbye Mr N. ...

(with sincere apologies to Elton John and Bernie Taupin)

Goodbye Mr N.
Though I never knew you at all
You tried to create a presence
While those around you brawled
They crawled out of the chambers
And they whispered into your brain
They set you on a treadmill
And they tempted you with fame.

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a spokesman of the firm
Never knowing who to cling to
When other water options were learned
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was not kindred
Your letters dried up long before
The water ever did.

Getting signatures was tough
The toughest role you ever played
Council looked for a saviour
And falling short was the price you paid
Even when you left
Oh the press still hounded you
All the papers had to say
Was that your petition ended in the loo.

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a spokesman without doubt
Never knowing who to cling to
When the truth came out
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was not kindred
Your letters dried up long before
The water ever did.

Goodbye Mr N.
From the silent majority
Who saw you as less of a saviour
But as someone obsessed with wee.

And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a spokesman who enjoyed a whinge
Never knowing who to cling to
When the rain set in
And I would have liked to have known you
But I was not kindred
Your letters dried up long before
The water ever did ...