THAT article from the Courier Mail ...

Courier Mail 25 March 2006

Don't poo-poo it until you try it

CHEERS, Toowoomba. Or Poowoomba, which I believe it will soon be officially called.

I think that works.

The emphasis is on the Woo part as opposed to the Poo, I don’t think I need tell you that, but obviously by the time a city makes the decision to drink from the public trough, it has let go of any vanity about its name.

But I’m not here today to make fun of Poowoomba, no I’m not. I want to let the people of Poowoomba know that. And I want to reassure them that recycled water will NEVER be used on Queens Park and bottled Evian will continue to be shipped in as usual.

I’m not sure if the mayor of Poowoomba has Googled the words “recycled drinking water” on the internet at all? There is quite a bit of information there, mostly warnings about what to do if you accidentally drink recycled water. I’m no lawyer, but the word accidentally caught my eye.

There are also warnings about not letting your dog drink it either, but I think that’s just common sense.

It’s a tough sell, I thought as I watched the effluential mayor of Poowoomba Dianne Thorley, dressed in a drinking-water brown suit and truckers cap with HMAS Poowoomba written on it, on national television this week.

That’ll be a big fat contract, whoever gets to market this drinking-water sandwich to the ratepayers. Lots of room for some creative sloganeering though, wouldn’t you say? And I tell you what, if I was the mayor of Poowoomba I’d be signing Dr Karl Kruszelnicki up immediately. I’ve heard him speak fondly of faeces on more than one occasion over the years.

The council has a feisty opposition in the Citizens Against Drinking Sewage. And since they put it that way, I’m right there with them. I’d also be supportive of Citizens Against Eating Vomit, or Citizens Against Life Ruining Cyclones, should those lobby groups want to get in touch anytime.

But CADS members should feel safe knowing that the Poowoomba council will be putting in a very, very stringent filtering system.

For instance, Poowoomba residents will be drinking only their own waste and not, say, the leftovers from the people of Ipswich. And in the unlikely event there should ever be any shortfall, drinking water can be trucked in from Brisbane’s leafy western suburbs just down the road, where there is a high percentage of lawyers, doctors and private school children, your AB quintile, and apparently that’s where you find the high quality drinking water that doesn’t stink.

And then of course there is the membrane science that’s involved in this reverse Midas process. It’s a bit of rigmarole, and I’m not totally across it just yet, but nobody who lives in Poowoomba should be concerned by the use of the word membrane, which seems to suggest a very thin buffer.

I’m sure by the time that sewage is in your crystal jug it’ll be fine. They pour peroxide on it somewhere along the way, and you know how that cleans your bathroom. You’ll be right.

I mean, look, have you ever heard of a scientist getting anything wrong?

The only thing you might have to do is watch what you eat a bit more closely than before. You can probably expect some sort of legislation governing the consumption of certain foods, and possibly a roster system for when you can have a curry night. Even numbered houses will be Wednesdays, Fridays and Sundays. No meat to be eaten Mondays. Something like that, Cr Thorley is still to iron those details out.

So to recap: the water we wash our clothes in isn’t safe to use on the garden, but it’s totally fine for people in Toowoomba to drink sewage.